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Which Eye Pee Ell character are you?

Enough. This quiz will tell you more than all other newspapers in the world. Combined.

What kind of books do you like?
A) I no read. I only watch.
B) Ah, this space is too less to classify it into categories, isn’t it? Darn it. Oh well, what the heck?
C) Anything, darling. Anything and everything. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
D) Books? What books? Where?

Which team do you support in the Eye Pee Ell?
A) Anyone whose owner is female, hot, under 35 (crucial qualifying criteria) and is willing to let me come in physical contact with her
B) Oh, I don’t support anyone. So I will get myself a team to support.
C) Any team that gives me truckloads of money to provide management services (read: manicuring sessions, especially for Sreesanth)
D) What is Eye Pee Ell?

Do you think there should be more teams in the Eye Pee Ell from other cities?
A) Yes! Yes! Yes! More, more, more!
B) Of course, as long as it benefits my home state.
C) Of course, as long as it pays for my new parlour in the city
D) Teams? What teams?

What do you think has been the most memorable moment of the Eye Pee Ell?
A) Citi Moment of Success! And of course, the MRF Blimp, the long standing producer of India’s pace bowling academy. How beautiful it looks in the night sky…
B) The best is yet to come. Frank Sinatra said that, you know!
C) My photos are all over the papers! Woohoo! Must send copies to Dubai.
D) This one?

Which Eye Pee Ell franchise owner do you like the most?
A) Hic. What was that again?
B) Aw. I’m too shy to say it out. I will tweet about it though.
C) *Blush blush blush. Gets a nose job*
D) Franchise? Where?

What do you think about Twitter?
A) It is the best way to give out information. Especially sensitive one, which will help ruin my life. Wow,I’m so intelligent.
B) I’m afraid I will have to pass for fear of repercussions from you-know-where.
C) What is this? It is blocked in my country!
D) It’s a bird sanctuary.

What do you like to wear?
A) Expensive suits, expensive shirts, expensive shoes. And yes, glasses that make me look sleazy. Not that I am though! Wow, is that Shilpaw Shitty bouncing? Hubba hubba hubba. Okay sorry…
B) Safari suits, dhoti kurtas anything simple but elegant
C) Anything black with gaudy make-up that makes me compete with the Wicked witch of the west in ‘Wizard of Oz’. Hey, I’m from the West!
D) Whatever I find at someone
else’s house.

How much money do you have?
A) My bank? Or my house? Or my relatives’ house? Be specific.
B) Those details cannot be disclosed, I’m afraid
C) Sweat, sweat. Umm, 70 crores?
D) Hehe. Now you’re talking!

Who is your favourite player in the Eye Pee Ell?
A) Umm. I don’t know. I never watch the matches. Only the owners and the ads.
B) Sreesanth
C) David Beckham
D) Huh?

What is the full form of Eye Pee Ell?
A) Infinite Paisa League
B) Interlocuting Providence League
C) There is a full form?
D) Income Phatka League

Mostly As: You are Laalhit Moodi. You care about the money, the girls and both in any order possible. You are usually seen at most matches around Miss Bubbly, or on Twitter blowing your mouth off.

Mostly Bs: You are Fussy, The Dude. You have way too much time on your hands and spend it by interacting with your ’fans’ on Twitter and posting comments. You then get kicked in the you-know-where and you realize you are a minister. The first time you decide to use your power, you botch it up, making you the WORSE minister in Indian politics.

Mostly Cs: You are the beautician, Sujhanda Pooshkar. You don’t know anything about anything, and are hoping to learn some things from The Dude. You also own a beauty parlour in Dubai and are in need of some money to buy some equipment. 70 crores, okay?

Mostly Ds: You are the Income Tax department. You’ve been sleeping for the past three years. Now that you know how much money is being thrown around, you arise from your slumber and make some quick raids.

None of the above:
You are the lucky viewers of this whole episode who get the best of everything. Sit back, and enjoy the drama!

-Saurabh Datar

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