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The Titanic Disaster of Indian Rupee

So what if the economy is as bad as Shraddha Kapoor’s acting, there is always hope… for the economy—not for Shraddha though, sorry doll. But right now it’s all going downhill, Rupee has fallen farther than SRK’s movie scripts, Rupee has fallen further than Akshay Kumar’s comedy, Rupee has fallen to the point where it has all of us worried whether the ‘Idli Wada Sambar’ will get more expensive and we’ll have to eat cheaper items like ‘Mice and worms’.
Although I did hear that last week the Rupee had some fluctuations. The rise and fall of rupee last week could be compared to Pamela Anderson’s…err…career.
As usual the government is doing all it can to stop this snow ball from rolling down hill. In fact just the other day they did something unimaginable! They made Dr. Manmohan Singh….Speak!!!! (gasp!). You know these are drastic times, when our PM actually gets to speak about something. He mentioned to the country that the economy is bad, which is like saying that a volcano eruption is just Mother Nature sneezing. The speech had an unusual ending though, because it didn’t end it with the usual “thik hai?”
  This rupee problem has us middle class people worried, the beggars however are very happy. I bet they all sit in the night together huddled over a warm fire made by burning newspapers and middle-class people tax money, and discuss, “saala, chaar rupaye aur milte toh ek Ameriki dollar ban jata”.
 It turns out that even the rich have a problem with the dollar price increase, they are not pleased with the way government is handling the issue. Now thanks to the difference between Rupee and Dollar, the rich class has to pay an extra two-three hundred rupees to get a diamond studded; platinum plated, sapphire glass covered IPhone 5! And don’t even get me started on the price of accessories for the phone!This drastic fall of the rupee can only be classified as a catastrophe.  And of course as it is with all natural disasters and calamities there are always these random “experts” spawning like Frogs in rainy season, and coincidentally they also make the same amount of noise.
    Apparently there are  12 year old kids on Facebook who have more knowledge than our Finance Minister. They post information of how the economy can be saved and force us to share the post like it’s a mandir ka prasad. I fail to comprehend how a boy, who thinks Manforce is a company that creates vehicles, decides he’s smart enough to post about the economy of India. But it turns out that this issue is not limited to this, there are people who have no freaking clue about the issue but are out there writing full length articles about it, just like I am right now.
    The economy is slow, the government is about to keep all the gold as mortgage, Poonam Pandey has signed a new film…yes, I know things seem bad. But, I think, I have a solution. If we send enough Indians abroad to get jobs they could earn in dollars and send them back here, thus increasing foreign currency in India and in turn closing the gap between Rupee and Dollar. But this is only my expert opinion, you guys can think of anything ranging from Credit Card Fraud to Email scams to earn money for the country.
   Let’s face it; we are desperate crew members trapped on the Titanic! We all know the ship is sinking, we all know that we don’t have much hope, we all know that our Lux Cozi Wool sweaters will not save us from the cold icy water. So save it, all your expert advice isn’t worth crap unless you are Superman or Bill Gates. You are not experts; you are just people on Social Media who have no life, no friends, and no other way to pass the time.
    The government must be doing all it can to change the situation, because eventually all their scams will start to pay very little. Ten thousand rupees would transfer as ten dollars, and it would be a huge loss for those hard working termites gnawing away at the nation’s financial condition, popularly known as ‘politicians’. So don’t worry, they will get their act together and the country’s situation will be proper once again, because if there is no Batman, who will the Joker play with?
    In the mean time, all you people on Facebook should probably start to save up your Farmville Cash! Because if rupee falls any further, who knows, they just might decide to make it our local currency. But this is only my expert opinion, because knowing the government, they’d even settle for Monopoly money since its plastic and fake—just like them!
See you fellow crew members; we’ll probably meet in the cold abyss as we freeze to death near this sinking Titanic! But excuse me, in the mean time, I must find myself a ‘Rose’.

About aditya

Aditya is a humour writer and awaiting to publish his first book. He is passionate about gaming, and has trained in animation. He resides in Pune.