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The Rules To Cheat!

 

Loyalty…a sentiment that is best reserved for dogs.

Men can never be loyal, mostly because it’s tedious and boring. We are like hungry little children begging at your local chowk. If you won’t give us anything we will go on to the next person, and even if you give us anything there is still no guarantee that we still won’t go to the next person.

But why aren’t men faithful?

I guess, it’s probably the way we were designed by nature. Men are always curious creatures, they do not blindly believe in stuff like Women do. Those fancy car shows on news channels can tell us all day long that the BMW is better than an AUDI, but we wouldn’t believe it until we actually try both. We always believe that healthy comparison is the best way to reach an informed choice. Although sadly “comparison” is one of the seven sins etched in the stone tablet of a woman’s mind, and committing the said sin is cause to eternal damnation in the hell of silent treatment.

The second reason is that ‘Men’ are rebellious freaks who do things only because women have specifically asked them not to do it. So for men, don’t skip college = Skip college completely and go smoke weed, don’t drive rash = give Michael Schumacher a run for his money, and god forbid you say to these men, “don’t flirt with chicks”, because to them it equals to “go out and have more random affairs than Ranbir Kapoor”. Forbidden fruit is always sweet, and forbidden affair is always a hit.

Plus there is the fact that women always take men for granted. Once the guy has finally become their husband or boyfriend, or as we single people refer to it—slave, women completely tend to ignore their counterpart like they are appendix, and do not pay any attention to it until they start acting up.

Now, just to make it clear, I do not have any experience in said matter. Because Cheating would require two girls finding me attractive, at the same time. Although, to be fair, it’s not just about looks, because I think I look pretty darn decent. I mean, at least the mirror doesn’t crack when I smile to it, so most probably the reason I don’t have a girlfriend is because– I’m a writer. You see, Women like guys who are more financially stable than writers, like your local ‘raddi wala bhai’, or the nasal ‘bhangar wala dada’. So the idea of me cheating on a girl is rather farfetched until I find the secret of becoming an ‘Amish Tripathi’ in one night.

But seriously, cheating on your partner is a serious offense that cannot be forgiven, unless of course you cheated on your GF with ‘Mila Kunis’, because then I would completely support you—after you grant me some video evidence of the happenings.

If you want to cheat, go to the exam hall—that’s what they were made for, and if you want a proper relationship then please try and stay loyal to your partner. Just remember, the ball can roll from any side— and if she cheats on you instead, then you might not be broad minded enough to accept it. As I said before, a hot Chick is like a Ferrari. It doesn’t matter who drives it, it is still going to be a Ferrari.
So to all you committed guys, before you decide to test ride that new AUDI R8, make sure nobody is trying to jack your Mustang GT while you are gone.

Although my opinion is, if you need to cheat in a relationship then you are obviously not happy with it. If you feel the need to cheat, please break up and start afresh with the new person. They say that god has made someone for everyone. So please, stop hogging up all the beautiful girls!!! Because somewhere out there are some sad, desperate, lonely engineering guys who are still waiting for them!

Relationships are no joking matter; it’s a bond of eternity. And if you cannot manage your bond, then please tell us about it! I’m pretty sure I can make insanely inappropriate jokes on you and your GF/BF and how your relationship failed because you are such losers. But seriously, It’s never a good idea to play with somebody’s sentiments because, sometimes the feelings scar the person so deep that they turn into JOKER, sometimes the feelings carves deeper and turns them into Batman. Either way, you are going to end up getting your butt-kicked. So unless you are Superman or the nephew of Rajnikant, cheating is best left to the professionals.

Now excuse me, my girlfriend is calling me and I’m not sure if it’s Neha, Catherine, or Zoya.

 

About aditya

Aditya is a humour writer and awaiting to publish his first book. He is passionate about gaming, and has trained in animation. He resides in Pune.