They say that Politics is nothing more than a game.
And judging by the state of India’s politics I’m starting to feel that our game is Grand Theft Auto 5. That would be the only explanation of all the murders, corruption, rapes, scams, and how the culprit gets away with all this in just three hours of jail time.
But Indian politics is not a game, it is actually a platform! It’s comparable to a massive Jellybean android system that holds many games; we mostly refer to these as ‘political parties’.
So you have your famously fanatical ‘Angry Birds’ party, who are pissed off at green pigs for stealing their eggs. But instead of doing the fun thing like, having sex and making more eggs, these senile birds insist on suicidal attacks to annihilate the pigs and finish both the species once and for all. In sharp contrast to the Angry Birds party, there is the ‘Temple Run’ party. These greedy bastards have stolen a lot of valuables from us and are running away like hell. We are always trying to chase them but these tricksters have become quite skilled in running down the roads of corruption.
The situation for the Indian public seemed dire, they had to choose between a promising yet suicidal bird game or a game that stole money from you and ran until you managed to catch them, and then they would repeat the process all over again.
But between while these two games were busy fighting for your attention, they overlooked another contender that was slowly rising up the ranks. It was called the “Fl-AAP-y Bird!” a game that was goddamn frustrating and yet insanely addictive to the core.
The game revolved around one bird that couldn’t actually fly. The players had to repeatedly tap to help the bird navigate through the treacherous paths of the pipe-land. The crowd was hooked to this redundant opera, and even though the frustration made them want to grind their bones into powder and use it to brush teeth in the morning, they still played the game because they believed in the bird. Soon people from all over joined the Flappy Bird party, and it gained enough popularity to dethrone the Temple Run party from their best seat. Everyone was cheering for the Flappy bird, everyone felt that they were an active participant in the success of this clumsy yet capable Flappy.
But since all good things must come to an end, my favourite science show ‘Bikini Destination’, was cancelled. Also, the Flaapy party could not handle the immense popularity it was receiving and eventually they decided to take the game off the system. It was probably a rash decision for the public but the Flappy Bird creators did not care to think about the idiots who voted for them and made them the number one app on Play Store.
Now for those of you who think I’m in anyway comparing Mr. Arwind Kejriwal to a digital bird that can’t fly, please remember that even the wingless Flappy Bird managed to stay afloat on the market longer than the AAP could. So there can be no comparison of the two parties, one is an extremely infuriating, irritating, redundant affair and the other one is a game for mobiles.
Of course there are plenty of other games available on our political platform, but these three games have enjoyed the status of titans among the midgets. Perhaps one day there will be a game that would evolve the system and make all the players happy.
But until then the nation will remain in the hands of the people who take GTA a little too seriously, so my advice is wear really short clothes and carry at least twenty three different guns with you at all times, and enjoy the anarchy fellow citizens. Meanwhile I will have to be contended with the downloaded reruns of my favorite intellectual sitcom, ‘Bikini Destination’!
See you guys, I have go and err…do a little brainstorming (*wink)