Home » zArchives » Campus » Other Campus articles » Shun the bath!

Shun the bath!

Ravi Shanbhag makes a case for ‘bathing pills’

Bathing is an epidemic. It is a gradually evolving systemic anomaly in the genetic composition of human beings. It is all set to erode the very fabric that keeps us lords of our own wills. It is growing day by day and until we, as citizens of tomorrow, do something, it could spawn to be the Achilles heel of mankind.

Why do we need to bathe? Our ancestors never did. Nor do the millions of other species who inhabit the earth. Cockroaches – the most enduring species on this planet – who might continue to live way beyond our reign – never bathe. If we are to outlive others, we should stop this heinous act right away.

Having to bathe is an indication of weak will. Nothing happens to the body if it doesn’t bathe. It is a shortcoming in the brain. In the end only the ones who are strong both mentally and physically will survive. (Darwin’s soul might be turning in his grave if he finds out what we have become). So it is very essential that bathing be avoided at all costs.

It is because of this mindset that we live with smaller apartments and houses. Had our minds not known about bathing – we would have done away with the bathroom, the bathtub, the huge water bills, the body soaps and the likes. Just imagine a world where no one had to bathe. All their hard earned money would not have gone down the drain (Literally). Everyone would flourish. There won’t be rich and the poor, just fellow humans.

We call ourselves different from animals because we have feelings and emotions. Each year thousands die because of droughts and thirst while we lay in our bathtubs. The very thought is repulsive. Come to think of it, lying in the bathtub is nothing by submersing oneself in his\her own filth.

I say, anyone caught or known to bathe should be convicted and drowned, for, it is these people who are setting a wrong precedent for fellow humans.

*This is an ode to all the college-ites who, each night, before snoring away, prayed for one and only one thing – A bathing pill*

About admin