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Punju Aunties

There are certain inexplicable phenomena that are peculiar to Punju-Land:

1. Aunties in synthetic salwaar kameezes with painted faces and dyed hair (and gold edged purses and sunglasses) exploring malls with mega-bags. The only time one can wear synthetic clothing in this city is December-January, and then it needs to be covered with 5 woolen layers. Believe me these are not superwomenwho don’t sweat. They just ensure that perfume alleys in malls make you dizzy when you pass through.

2. Smart women with newborns, husbands and ayahs in tow. Husband carrying baby. Ayah carrying shopping bags. Woman carrying truckloads of attitude and diamond-studded cellphone. Way to go baby! Enjoy your new light-weight chooda-less arms, before you slip them into synthetic suits!

3. New brides with 50 kgs. of painted plastic around their wrists (the ghastly ‘chooda’ which helps satellites locate where newly married Punjabi women are) sifting through clothes. Now, if I remember all the Punjabi brides have encountered in the last ten years, the only reason they got married in the first place was the shopping for clothes/make-up/more clothes/shoes and bags. Did I mention that clothes-a-wedding gives them an opportunity to shop for? Then why are they raiding the shelves again before their mehndi is gone completely? Is there some scope to start a de-addiction programme for these hapless specimens? Punju Shopoholics Anonymous, anyone??

– Mansi Narang

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