Be it Matheran or Mauritius, a 7 star hotel or a 3 star lodge, there’s just no escape from newly-weds. Viren Naidu gives you the dope on some of the specimens you’re likely to spot on your next holiday.
1. Raat Thakeli Hai Species
These are couples who have been planning their honeymoon since the time they got engaged. They have visited at least 50 travel agents, rescheduled all their office appointments and got their leave sanctioned months in advance.
For the journey, they carry dadimaa’s homemade laddoos, mother’s handmade pickles, ‘garam’ kapda and lots of disposable bags in case either of them feels like throwing up. Adventurous – but not in a honeymooner’s sense of the word – they go bungee jumping, river rafting, boating, ice-skiing and ask every passing stranger to click their snaps in hideous filmi poses.
By the time they return to their room, she unwinds by watching her daily quota of Kahaanis and Kyunkis. Come bed time, they doze off due to overexertion and exhaustion during the day!
2. Dil Maange More Species
This twosome never leaves their hotel room and haven’t been spotted by the hotel staff since the time they checked in. The only person they communicate with is the room service guy whom they leave the food tray out for. The laundry man? Do they really need him? They are a frequent source of complaints for the guests living in neighbouring rooms who can’t sleep coz of all the noise being created by these honey’moaner’s.
3. Hum Saat Sattar Hain Species
They book all the rooms in the hotel. Nope, not coz they want more place for naughty activities. But coz they are accompanied by mummy-daddy, maama-maami and chacha-chachi on their second honeymoons. The elders occupy the best suites while the unfortunate newly-weds squeeze themselves into the smallest (i.e. only) room available. Did I mention that they have to share the space with their nieces and nephews coz the kids’ parents need some privacy? The only time the couple gets to spend together is when the family plays antakshari – that too if they are in the same team!