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Gareebo ki Suno, Wo Tumhari Sunega.

The Food Security Bill has been passed! At the fag end of its “regime” in India, people have seldom realized the fact that Madamji really cares about a nation which is so insecure about itself. So security in any form would surely be welcomed unhindered. Deprived people would get the benefit of subsidized cereals and pulses, which is…. great.

I imagine Rahul Gandhi clutching his mom’s sari in conversation with her some months ago in the dignified corridors of Delhi.

Rahul Baba: “Mummy, I have an billion dollar idea. No, literally. Why not just give away free food to the poor so that they can feed me whenever I go to their home during the election campaigns like I did earlier? Last time I ate in one of their homes, 4 of their kids just looked at my plate hungrily. I felt bad. And mamma, I promise you I’ll take an Odomos cream and Kent water purifier with me this time when I go for a sleepover.”

But then his mother asked, “But who will pay for the Odomos and the water-thingy you’ll take with you? It’s not like I have unlimited money in my account!”

To which, Rahul Baba says, “Mumma, why are the middle class people so stingy that they won’t pay for the poor? They can surely pay for my Odomos.”

A light bulb appears over Madamji’s head then. “Hmm… beta, I’ll pay for the Odomos. Remind me to propose a bill in which the middle class people, who have somehow managed to find jobs and dig their way out of poverty, would pay for the food for the ‘poor’. I dunno how they did it, we never created any jobs for them as far as I remember.”

Rahul: “Mamma! You are genius. These people can surely pay up for this scheme. If they can buy onions and daal at ` 100 , petrol for ` 85, I tell you mamma, these people always fall for ‘schemes’.

“Yes we are beta. But you don’t worry. Odomos is of primary concern now. What do you say beta, some 15 thousand crores from the budget will be enough for your Odomos na? The rest we can give away. Plus we can always brand those who oppose this bill as anti-poor and unpatriotic. Total Win Win!”

“Mamma, Did Manmohan Uncle really do well in economics? I bet he would have failed in the oral exam/ viva voce.”

Yes he did beta, but why worry? He said some old scheme can be sold to the parliament in a new form. We can call it the ‘Food Security Bill’. Eh? What do you think?”
“Super mamma! But mamma, if they question us about the rising suicide rates of the farmers and the rotting food grains and pulses in government warehouses, hoarding and black-marketing, what will we tell them?”

“Tell whom? The opposition? Ah! I think they would have done the same, they’ll understand. “
“No no, the people!”
“You mean Arnab Goswami? “
“NO mamma! The people of our adopted country! “
“Oh you mean Indians. I thought you were talking about our folks back in Italy. Indians are a very busy breed. They’ll forget it in a day or two. Leave that. Let’s make the most of our time in power now beta. Ye kursi na milegi dobaara!

And so the “Vote Security Bill”. was passed as an overhead to the national debt, opening yet another legal avenue for one more string of phony scams.

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