I’m not much into symbolism, but my creative (read: Tharki) friends tell me that the number “69” represents a man and a woman doing awkward, back breaking kinda stuff. So if that is the case then the number “77” would obviously represent two men doing ‘Brokeback Mountain’ kinda stuff, huh?
Maybe that is why the Indian government decided to call it ACT 3‘77’. Anyway I always get a feeling that the government has an astute observation about all the things that DO NOT affect the common man’s life in any way possible.
For all those who don’t know, the act 377 was decriminalized some time ago by the Delhi high court, thus allowing two men to engage in all the things that usually only a man and woman do, like shopping, arguing, cursing each other, cheating, and finally breaking up. Now the SC has decided to do a U turn on the decision of the Delhi court and err…re-criminalize(?) the act again. Needless to say that the gay community was enraged, and once they were done painting their nails and braiding their hair, they set out to do the one thing that unites all Indians regardless of their sexual orientation;
Rallying and Protesting against the government!
The media who was still busy with Sachin and his retirement plans quickly found an all new ‘ball’ game. Soon the gay community was all over the news which led to really uncomfortable dinner scenario in the orthodox families of India.
The problem is that here in India, parents don’t teach their kids about sex until the kids are at the ripe adolescent age of forty-three. Kids end up believing that babies are picked up from the baby section at the local Big Bazaar. So when the kids don’t know how things are done normally then how would they have any clue as to how it is done err…differently. Which in turn leads to all sorts of awkward questions ranging from, “Mom, how was I born?” to “Is the dudhwala Ramu kaka your boyfriend, dad?”
Some very very straight people across India have unanimously welcomed the criminalization of the law.
“Achha hua ban kiya in Gay logo ko!” said a man angrily, as he unknowingly ground his pelvis across another man’s behind in the cramped local trains in Mumbai. “It’s not normal for men to like men” said a frequent gym member while staring at a picture of Salman Khan’s taut pectoral muscles in a sweaty, tight vest.
“Already India has a bad female to male sex ratio. If women start turning gay, then how am I supposed to ever find a girlfriend?” said my friend as we sat downloading an ‘educational video’ starring two female nurses with a needle-less injection.
While straight people from all over the country are criticizing the gay community, the film stars however are supporting the community wholeheartedly. It is understandable though; everyone knows that it’s never a wise decision to criticize the man that does your makeup or the man that directs all your movies. Now even Sonia Gandhi has shown support by stating that she was disappointed in the decision of the SC. The gay people replied that they were also disappointed at the decision of people who voted for Congress in the last election.
India is a free country, and so everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But what you have to understand is that being gay isn’t an option, being gay is like liking a particular kind of music, like say Justin Beiber songs. When you like JB, you can’t stop listening to his music even if it sounds like a chicken screaming over the beat of a rattling tin can to other people.
They say that you cannot decide who you will fall in love with; of course this wasn’t a very good excuse when I was caught drooling over our sultry science teacher while she picked up the fallen duster.
But if people from the same sex do like each other they should have the option of being together without having committed a criminal offence. What people do inside the four walls of their bedroom shouldn’t be the concern of a nation who, quite frankly, has better and more vital issues to fret about currently.
Now please excuse me, the educational video has finally been downloaded. And I’m extremely curious to see how those two nurses are going to use the needle-less injection.
The article is published in humour and not intended to hurt any one’s feelings.