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Colleges prepare for battle

Jasmine Chhabria reports from the front lines, as professors and students gear up to battle it out on Valentine’s Day this year

Our gradually turning reliable sources have discovered the bizarre ways in which colleges have planned to suppress the V-Day Dhamaka, V-day activities and lovers in college campuses. A number of teachers are actively preparing ‘Don’ts ‘n Don’ts’ for Valentine’s Day. Let us see what is the heart-breaking agenda of the Anti-V-Day Teachers’ Squad (as they are referred to by heart-broken college students).

Suburban Mumbai colleges have come out with this tortuous proposition — ‘If caught on campus with your lover on V-day, answer 75 questions in a particular subject. Failing to do so in a time period of 24 hours will result in cancelling attendance for a week. (Abhi pyar bhi bhari padne laga hai!).

Initially, some colleges had decided to celebrate the conventional Rose Day on V-Day. But this Day too is scrapped.(Some stingy students are indirectly happy, as their Rs 10 to buy that one withered red rose is saved).

Needless to say, carrying V-Day Gifts to college on this day is also prohibited. If you unfortunately become a victim of a V-Day handover, pass of the gift to your teacher and say, “It is for you, ji.” The profs will be more than happy to receive their first and (unless they find more JAM readers) last V-day gift and not put you through an exam or whatever sadistic measure they have come up with.
The std XII/SYJC and third year students are the main targets of the Anti V-Day Teachers’ Squad. According to the teachers, these students must spend their so-called precious time entirely in studying for their board and university exams, especially on V-Day. If only the teachers would realise how much time students spend on coming up with ways to flout their rules!

The students, meanwhile, have vowed to rebel against these rules. Their brains have been sharpened by the ever-lasting, eternal and infinite tests known as the ‘prelims’. They are prepared and very determined to achieve their goal.

There is just one problem. In the cold war between lovers and colleges, no one seems to remember that V-day falls on a Sunday this year?

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