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CGI Orgasm. Transformers: Age Of Extinction Review

Characters coming out of costly cars with the camera panning around taking a low angle shot, a hot blonde girl with the IQ of a 6 year old, toys that talk more than humans do, special effects that seem like someone just threw a massive jeez all over the screen to make them look like extra-terrestrial, product placements ranging from energy drinks to cars people can’t afford to buy and off-course explosions, explosions and some more explosions. Yes! Micheal Bay is back with all his cliched Micheal Bay-ism, louder than he has ever been.

People go to watch a Transformer movies to enjoy big cars and trucks transforming into fighting warriors trying to save the day for the humans in general, Sir. Micheal Bay managed to pull it off once in 2007. It’s nearly 7 years and he is yet not over toying with the emotions of people who played with the toys in their childhood, moreover he makes them bloated and more and more unlikable each and every time. The runtime of this atrocity is around 2 hour 40 minutes and you actually feel it as the seconds pass. It’s not your usual boring film where you can just doze off to sleep. It’s incredibly loud and things keep happening. There is a time in the film where you will realize that you are unable to hear yourself, and just when you think it’s going to be over, it happens again.

Transformers: Age of Extinction begins right from where we left things in Chicago in the previous film. But the autobots are no more a helping hand for the humans. The government and the CIA hand in hand with a shadowy group reveals itself in an attempt to control the direction of history. The autobots have to fight the emerging shadowy group but along the way they also have to fight their prototypes which have been made by a certain organisation from their own fallen warriors. The new Transformers movie has a fresh new cast lead by Mark Wahlberg who plays an inventor , who for no reason whatsoever buys things to create something new out of them. Make way for a cliched father-daughter story, a girl who has daddy-issues and also has a boyfriend who talks in the worst possible British accent. She wants to get into college but spends more of her time going on secret drives with her boyfriend as her tank top and denim shorts grow shorter and shorter.

Even though the director bombards us with racial jokes which are more offensive than being funny, I somehow liked the first half. It was fast paced and things looked quite okay to me. The human story that has been brought into our concern is good but you don’t give two shits about them after a while, new autobots are introduced and except for Bumble-bee and Optimus Prime you don’t give two shits about them either. They look cool yes, but they talk so much that you wish you could take a sword and slice their throat. Watching the trailer I thought bringing in the dinobots would be freaking cool but they are just to act like mere escorts for Optimus Prime.

Mark Walhberg is the only good about the movie. The dude tries his level best. Even Stanley Tuci becomes a prey of Micheal Bay’s stupid jokes and badly written dialogues.The CGI is groundbreaking and thanks to Imagine Dragon’s – Battle Cry, which made me smile as the credits rolled down.

Final Verdict: If you feel like seeing a very long CGI fest go watch it. Others – it’s best you stay at home get nostalgic with you toys.

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