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Ask with confidence!

Something you are too embarrassed to talk about? Afraid to share a deep, dark secret with your best friend because it involves her fiancé, whipped cream and a handycam? Need help but don’t know who to ask? Well then this is your lucky day! For Assmopolitan’s very own in-house relationships specialist, Dr. Victor Terminus is here to help. Just drop ...

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Assmo Commandments: 10 Ways To Tell If You’re Headed For Dumpsville

1. He assigns a special caller tune for you – Metallica’s ” Die Die Die My Darling!” 2. He gets your name tattooed…on a stray dog, which he kicks around with much gusto. 3. He gifts you the same dog, but conveniently forgets to give it a rabies shot. 4. Whenever you’re out on a date, he spends his time ...

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Maximus Stupidus: Loo-natics!

Dr. Freud led a long, busy life, most of which was dedicated to correcting people when they mispronounced his name. “It’s pronounced like Reuters!!”, he’d scream in frustration. His temper was obviously a manifestation of a very complex Complex, which is explained in great detail in his book ‘The Interpretation Of Dreams’, which, as the title suggests, is unmatched in ...

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Higher Studies

Are you confused about your career? Looking for somebody to give you directions at the crossroads of Life? Well, that somebody could be your local traffic pandu. But if his pot belly turns you off, you can always count on career counselor Chattu Chattopadhu for sound advice and stupid alliterations. Dear Chattu I’ve just given my 10th Boards and I ...

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