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Breaking News: Karan Johar loses 12 kgs…

If L.K Advani can nurture a dream big enough to become the prime-minister of India in the age when he should have cared more about his daily dialysis and trying to remember the names of his great-grand-children, what’s wrong with Karan Johar trying to lose a few pounds of fat for bagging a role in a film?

The 41 year old is reported to have hitting on the gym-trainer the gym to flex out a perfect tone to his body for Anurag Kashyap’s ‘Bombay Velvet’ in a negative role. After removing the extravagant make-up from his face and the wig from his head he is said to have shed a record 12 kilos of his weight. He hopes to achieve a personal milestone by commencing his gym schedule and thus inspires every middle aged man in India that age is just a number…to judges of horrible reality shows.

sharukh gauri and baby

sharukh gauri and baby

Moving on with the Breaking News, Shah Rukh Khan has decided to have a baby! So much for the “age is just a number”. Well, not totally. He has chosen to go for outsourcing via surrogacy! And what is more, he already knows the gender of the child. When asked in privacy, Shah Rukh cleared the air by saying “It’s been a hectic year agonizingly anticipating the outcome of the fate of Kolkata Knight Riders in this IPL while being shooed out of every stadium in the country.”

“Couple that with insomniac nights musing about my lousy judgment of doing films like Ra-One and JTHJ, it was just too much for me to wait”, an emotional Shah Rukh when probed with questions by the media.

floods uttarakhand,

floods uttarakhand,

Rain rain go away
Uttarakhand and the neighbouring states face the havoc of nature as whole landmasses are swept away by the raging Yamuna river. While the news channels are doing a commendable job trying to create civil panic by running segments named “Kya aaj doob jayegi Dilli?” and “Bhaago, Yamuna nigal jayegi”, the people are still struggling to wriggle out of the clasp of imminent death. The UP chief minister was seen bucketing out pails of water from his private swimming pool while the rest of the state was in dire straits.

In contrast to this, Mumbaikars felt a sigh of relief from the extreme heat when they saw the gutters and drains overflowing with rainwater – an evident sign of the onset of monsoon. But Mumbaikars have their own problems to deal with – the craters on the main roads. The people are cursing and sulking their lives over the potholes which markedly has more importance of being noticed in the monsoons than any other time of the year when they simply go unnoticed by everyone.

Runs for South Africa

Runs for South Africa

Sports News: SA vs Eng
In sports news, SA retain their most coveted tag of ‘chokers’ after suffering a humiliating defeat by England in Champions Trophy. “Reputation is a hard thing to earn, and even hard to retain”, SA skipper was quoted saying. “We thought it was a 20-20 match. But after being 7 wickets down, the umpire came to Miller and said that we were expected to play 50 overs. Who, in the world now, plays for 50 overs? He was nuts!”

veena-malik-kiss-record 100

veena-malik-kiss-record 100

“Champion Trophy Kisser”
After Pakistan got out of the tournament early on, DeVilliers had forgotten to return a ‘Filmfare Pakistan’ to Shoaib Malik from whom he had borrowed. The candid interview of Veena Malik got him so engrossed that after batting for 2 overs in the center, he decided it was time to finish the interview first, back in the pavilion. After all, even he couldn’t have made as many runs in the entire tournament as many men she had kissed! Certainly, not as many runs as her famous century in 60 seconds. “For truce between India and Pakistan, I am even ready to kiss Kapil Sibbal and Rajnath Singh! Or Mamta Bannerjee…if it helps anything with Bangladesh too.” Veena was quoted saying in the interview.

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