Home » zArchives » Humour » Cover story » Bhai University

Bhai University

Welcome to Bhai University (visit us on www.bhaiuniversity.gun or www.bhaiuniversity.bomb). We offer a complete range of graduate, post-graduate and doctorate level courses to make the perfect bhai out of you – for an exciting and jet-setting career, where life is (literally) on the edge. Our founding fathers – Mota Tarzan and Badaa Vakil, are testimony to an exciting Bhai life in strange foreign lands.

Some of our popular graduate and post-graduate courses are:

B.A: Bachelor of Assault
M.A.: Master of Arson

B.E: Bachelor of Encounters
M.E.: Master of Extortion

B.Com: Bachelor of Commotion

M.Com: Master of Communal Violence

B.Sc.: Bachelor of Scams
MBA: Master in Bad Activities

M.B.B.S.: Master of Breaking Bones and Spirits
M.B.B.S.(Hons.): Master of Bombay Bomb Blasts

LL.B: Luchcha Lafanga Badmash.

Our most-sought-after doctorate courses, conducted by Mota Tarzan are:
Hiding in Pakistan
Ph.D: Diploma in Plane Hijacking

Entrance test: We only take the best. Entrance test fees of Rs. 50,000/- to be paid only from money extorted from your local businessmen/ actors/ builders. Anyone who does not copy or use any other illegal methods, or does not acquire the question paper before the exams, will not be allowed to write the exam.

Sample questions for entrance test:
1. A wealthy businessman puts a supari on your head. What do you do?
a. Put a supari on his head.
b. Put a supari on head of supari taker.
c. Put a supari on both their heads (a and b).
d. Merge your gang with the supari takers’s gang, kill him and become the head of the new gang.

2. What’s the easiest way to extort money?
a. Threaten to expose their dirty linen
b. Threaten to throw acid
c. Threaten to further threaten them
d. Threaten to throw tantrums

3. Which is your favourite gangsta movie?
a. Kallu mama in Hong Kong.
b. Pyaar hua Portugal mein.
c. Dude, where’s my cargo?
d. My brother Salimbhai.

Also order for our latest publication ‘From the gun to the legislature’ by A-run Growly.

About admin