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Follow your heart …not always your dreams.

The corporate world comes with a lot of glamour and bling overpowering the innocent freshers to become the rich snobs of this artificial world. Here’s reciting to you a story of Kangana, a dreamy girl, brought up in the city of dreams … Mumbai.
A shy and reserved girl, Kangana barely spoke to anyone. More so, being schooled at a Convent, she hesitated to confront boys and thus lived like an Alice in her own Wonderland. When she passed out from school, she got admitted to the best college in town; St.Xavier’s College. She went on to study Economics and finally graduated in the subject she didn’t quite like. She was inclined towards music and poetry but she detested reading and practicing classical ragas. She found them difficult things as her attention span was too less for patient practicing.

What followed the graduation was a series of interviews she randomly applied through google or some job granting portal. And landed up at an insurance company, then a media agency, then a newspaper and finally in…the best and biggest entertainment company in the world…

When she started working, she felt like her childhood dream had finally materialized. She even travelled to visit the happiest place on the planet- Hong Kong Disneyland for WORK. Yes! she was overpowered.

Now what happens at every company is a reality check for the dreamy and experimenting lot. Kangana qualified as childish, dreamy and over-friendly. Not a very positive feedback for someone whose performance is being monitored every minute. She was unmindful of the scrutiny, her boss began to dislike her. She was her own person, how could she be bothered what her boss thought of her?

To make things worse, she got into arguments with her boss. The things that she could do, her boss wanted to do them herself. The crazy ideas that she had, her boss would put in the trash bin, because every subordinate must first listen to what the boss wants. Juniors must only do what is told to them.

“You are over confident”. “You are restless”. You don’t respect seniority”. “You have too much ego”. “You don’t listen”
She was a random fish when she entered this ocean but she felt like she had been caught in the fisherman’s net to be dumped into the bin.

What exactly happened? Why did she have to leave the dream company and the dream job? Was it her restless mind? Or her over confidence? Or her ego? What was it that made her leave the company? In just four months! Where would she go next? It was the best she could get at the mere age of 22! Why then? Was she being over paid? To do the things she didn’t like? Had she been wise to take up this job? Was she capable? She began to have self doubts…

Satisfaction. One word to describe her want was satisfaction. She was busy working there but not content. She loved waiting back, going early, working late, ideating and communicating. But what was missing was the satisfaction seeing her ideas blooming. She wanted her imagination to be fired. She liked the work but not enjoying it. Not because the place or the people were annoying.

She realized, I am not a publicist but a writer. I live to write and pen my emotions. She wanted a liberal environment, where she would be accepted unquestioningly. To her, protocol meant autocracy…rules meant slavery…and both these words put together meant stress to her.

She guessed she was pampered and a little spoilt. She had issues with being told what to do, following rules, being answerable to someone and meeting deadlines. Alas! This is all what an MNC stands for Authority, Protocol, Accountability and Discipline. A writer or any artist for that matter cannot start his/her day with a to do list and end it with an EOD status (end of day). This is the life of every executive, manager or senior managers as well who do not own the company but just run it.

Here she took to blogging to de-stress her over worked self and detach from the insanely stressed life. She became an avid blogger and got an opportunity to work for an online portal …that was when she decided to choose contentment over happiness and moved on to live her own dream instead of living the world’s dream. For the world, it was a dream to work with a $ 42 Billion company with almost a 100 year old legacy but for her writing 200 words and getting 100 page views was a dream enough…
follow your heart

The views expressed by the author are her own.

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