Deep in my heart, I had always naively believed that on turning 18 and officially being an adult (even though technically I’m still in my “teens”), all my acne problems would magically disappear and puberty would finally fulfill its promise of making me attractive. However, the skin on my face (resembling the roads in my neighborhood) that confronts me every time I look into a mirror begs to differ. So, in order to quell the wrath of Satan himself erupting on my face, here are 10 things that you should absolutely never say to anyone with obvious acne problems.
1) “What happened to your face?” Oh, hi there! I like you already. What better way to start a conversation! It’s not as if I have feelings or anything. Nope, I’m not offended or hurt at all. By all means, continue to greet me like that.
2) “How come you have so many pimples?” I ordered them online. They were on sale. Why, do you want some?
3) “Oh look that pimple you have on your nose is so BIG!” Yes, thank you for pointing it out to me, I would never have noticed it myself. Because you know, it’s not as if my nose in constantly in the field of my vision or that I look in a mirror more times than you breathe in a minute. Maybe I should hire you to inform me about every pimple that I get so that I can stay updated. And you can have something to do with all the free time you have.
4) “You should try this soap/cream/medicine…”or “So, are you seeing any doctor because I know this dermatologist…” Hold it right there. Stop. Chances are that I have already tried whatever soap or cream or toothpaste or human sacrifice to the God of pimples you are suggesting, and I would really appreciate if you kept your advice to yourself. Seriously, I’ve tried it all.
5) *woman doing my eyebrows at the parlor* “You know, we have this anti-acne pack that will clear your face right up and give you an inner glow with guaranteed self -actualization and spiritual liberation in just 4 sessions of treatment.” Do I look like I want to pay you to put unknown chemicals on my face and cause me to choke on my own tears? No actually, do I look like I want anyone touching my face at all?
6) “Do they hurt?” Oh, I don’t know, will it hurt you if you have an insane amount of little volcanoes full of gross stuff that may erupt if you so much as dry your face with a towel too hard? Eh, maybe.
7) “Try washing your face more often.” Okay, I may not seem like the cleanest person in the world, but this is just rude. I can assure you that I wash my face more times than you think I do.
8) “You should stop eating junk food.” And you should start minding your own business. Okay yeah, this one’s true, I really should start eating healthy food but there’s a small problem. I love food more than I hate my face. Also, people telling me what to do makes me want to do the exact opposite because I’m a rebel like that.
9) “You know, I used to have acne just like you. Don’t worry, it will clear up in no time.” As much as I love to hear such inspirational stories, it really doesn’t make me feel any better. Congratulations on your clear face though.
10) “It’s not that bad.” You probably need new glasses. Or an award for Best Use of Sarcasm.
And there you have it. Things that probably don’t mean any harm but you should still stop saying to me or to my fellow acne victims. Thanks in advance.