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Relationships: 5 Tips to protect your back side

“Relationship is incomplete without fight”. “A fight makes the love grow more…and more”. Dude you believe this, your a** is in serious trouble !

When I began my firs chapter in love (i.e at the time of proposal), I blatantly said a few things, not knowing know what turn such things could take in the future. Like: tum kaho din ko raat to raat, tum kaho raat ko din to din! But this is not the actual problem. The problem is that after getting into a relationship, we forget whatever stupid things we said in the begining because we know that ‘of course it’s all just ‘kehne ki baat’. Our brain is not logical, to some extent it is temporary insanity. And for them(Who!?! the girls of course) it is perfect stupidity that they believe everything seriously. Result of such suspension of sanity is “aapki to lag gayi’.

Believe me; your GF doesn’t need to search for one point to get angry. Actually, they always have a database where they store your weaknesses, stupidities. What they just do is use that as a brahamastra in some perfect situation.. Yes! Once they launch their brahamastra, after that you’re done. After that you can’t say a word, all you do is just listen.

So, if you want to protect your backsides here are 5 things to keep in mind so that your database is clean.

The very first be careful, what you say at the time of proposing should be logical and within limit. Zada bolna agey ja ke liye hanikark ho sakta hai. Talk of Logical things and give practical stuff like rings, presents which you can afford. Promise a lot less. Remember you are not Superman from krypton, so don’t promise the stars and the moon. So, you don’t get beaten up for not doing or forgetting things like getting chocolates for occasions like when her exam got over.

As it is compulsory to reply ‘HELLO’ for ‘HELLO’, just like that it’s damn compulsory to reply ‘I LOVE YOU TOO’ for ‘I LOVE YOU’. And if galti se if you forget to reply then get ready to download the corrupted files from your GF’s database. And if you forget to take the initiative in saying the three magic words then…: ‘you don’t love me anymore’ and ‘why is it always me first to say I Love U’… etc. Mark my words; it will not stop once she’s triggered. So you’re in the mood or not, don’t ever forget to say ‘I Luv U’ every 10-15 minutes.

It doesn’t matter how busy you are with your meetings, studies or friends, dare not to ignore her call or text. I mean…you never know that how important the call is, maybe it’s about the catfight with one of her friends, maybe it’s about her aunt who brought her a new dress, maybe it’s important as much as her brand new pink sandals. So, never ignore her call or text. And yes! Never reply her text in just one or two words. Just make it as long as you can. What if it’s called SMS! Zaruri thodi ki ‘short message service (SMS)’ hamesha short hi ho.

Dare not to ogle at another girl in her presence. Otherwise, get your back side ready to get kicked. Maybe she wont say anything at that moment even after noticing you ogling other girls but she’ll definitely store it on her database for future. And mistakenly if your stray eyes betray you then always play adroitly. And anyway ghar ki murgi, murgi hi hoti hai daal ni….in fact if it’s turned out to be daal only then always assume it as chicken tandoori and eat with love.

Lastly, try to…..naah! Not just try, always take your GF out three times a week and if possible make it seven! It doesn’t matter if you’re running out of cash, if its month end or anything. Boss! You have to do this. Never believe her words like: “baby, I understand that you’re busy. No problem. Take me out some other day”. Words like this, always are a sign that: Dude! It’s not olive oil. It’s petrol which is being applied to you bum. Get ready to feel the heat soon…very soon. Don’t compound the problem further by trying to defend yourself by giving proof of how many times you took her out for dinner, movie etc, by then dude, YOU ARE DONE! : ‘Haan! So now you’re counting that how many times you spent money on me!?!’

Well, there are many other things which you should always keep in mind to save your behind. I could go on. Actually, you want to and will save your back side and your relationship because you love her and the fear of losing her. But you also know she’s the only one who can easily tolerate and accept you in any manner despite how much she fights and how many times she picks things on you.

Watch this space.

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