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PYAAR KIYA TOH GHAR JAANE KA!!

Every other week there are reports of cootchie cooing couples at various public places being booked for ‘indecency’. Yet amour adventures continue unabated. Kaushik and Toulou spoke to students across Mumbai to get you this exclusive report.

First things, first. Everyone’s doing it, but no one’s willing to talk about it. Okay, they’ll talk but they beg you: “Don’t take my picture.” Why? Mummy-daddy kya kahenge. Ek taraf daredevilry, doosri taraf scared shitless. Bhai kya kehna!

Let’s start with a passout from Podar college. He has strictly asked us to not name him. But he had loads a info…
“There are so many places man: empty classrooms or better still the Student Council Room. It’s the hot-spot. Of course, just look around in the night and you’ll see couples in the park at strategic places.”
We’d like to thank this guy coz he told us about a whole lot of other places too. Like the famous Xaviers Gali, so we went and took a picture of this hormones infested place. A source mentioned
“After the sun sets, this is where the action happens.”
We also bring you the picture of the coolest car best suited for coochie-cooing couples. Lucky eh!

Meet Mr. ‘know it all’ cabby. According to him, Madam, kya bataun 98%, sach mein, 98% ladka, ladki kuch colleges ke baahar se jab gaadi mein baithte hain to sara samay lagey hi rehte hain. Humko bahut sharam aata hai madam. Kuch toh ladkiyan aisee hain jo gaadi mein change karti hain, phir hotel mein jaati hain. Wahan kya hota hai, yeh toh sabko pata hai. Phir gaadi mein baithkar burkha utaarkar college mein jaati hain. Bahut hotel hain aas-paas.”
He told us the names of the hotels and well, he was very concerned about the situation.
However, some girls outside Xaviers had a different opinion. They said,
“This make-out thing in Xaviers is too hyped, just because it’s Xaviers. It happens at times in empty corridors and terraces. If the security guy catches you, your id is taken and you have to collect it from the principal. That’s why people stay in their limits. They do go to Regal and Metro Adlabs though.”
They however couldn’t stand to have their picture taken on this matter.
“If it was some other topic, maybe”, they said.

Another guy from Xaviers said, “Where is the place to make-out ya! Even if you go to Hanging Gardens, the cops catch you for doing nothing at all. You can’t even hold hands. Then you have to give them 100 bucks. It’s better to go out of town for a night stay.”

That’s in town, let’s go outside NM. Most of the students didn’t wanna open their mouth on the subject but then Mr. Cool dude was more than excited. He spoke in a blitzkrieg:
“Arre I’ll tell you. Go to chowpatty, go to Sun and Sand beach, Silver Beach, Mocha, Fame Adlabs. Everyone’s always making out there. On the beach though, cops trouble you a lot and ask for money”
Over to Deepika, the politically correct girl.
No one makes out around here ya! We come here to study. Atleast no one I know does that.” Yeah right!
A cop in the vicinity Mr. Gajanand said
“Bhai hum toh jab dekhte hain toh unko warning de kar chod dete hain. Itna sharam aata hai dekhke, paisa thodi maang sakte hain.”
But the coolest group was this one, they had loads to say
“I’ll tell you. Cabs. Cabs are the coolest make-out spots. But sometimes, they charge you more and you have to pay, coz you know you have been at fault. You have used their property for your pleasure so you have to pay. Otherwise juhu mein toh itne saare jagah hain.”

Let’s take you to Malad, the Mindspace area. The auto guy over there was more than interested in talking about this topic. He said, ” Madam saara samay idhar toh auto mein baithte hi shuru ho jaate hain. Ab kya karen! “. The Juhu auto guy had a better story, he had said, ” Mujhe toh itna sharam aata hai ki main apne mirror pe kapda daal deta hoon. Ek baar toh ek ladka ladki ne yeh sab karne ke liye hi auto liya tha. Idhar udhar ghuma ke, bhara sattar rupaye aaya tha.”
Back to Mindspace, sorry for the diversion. A conversation between the guards outside Mindspace-
First Guard : “Madam sab andar building mein lagey rehte hain. Aur raaste par bhi. Police kuch nai karti. Sirf paisa leti hai.”
Second Guard (stopping him): “Nai nai aisa kuch nai hai. Kuch nai hota building ke andar. Bahar bhi nai hota. Kuch nai hota. Police hai Kaise hoga?”
First Guard: “Aur Madam peeche park mein bhi bhot scene milega. Sab jagah scene chalu rehta hai”
Second Guard: “Nai nai. Aap Jaiye”
So we went to the BMC park and there are couples who are kissing and the moment you approach them
” We are not couples, just good friends.”
Since when did good friends start getting their tongues in each others mouth. We sure have evolved.
Anyways, so this BMC park is huge and is open till 9 p.m. You’d find a lot of couples stealing minutes, sometimes seconds for just one kiss. And a lot more, if no ones watching. There was just one couple out of 6-7 who were ok about being a couple. According to them,
“Why do you have to makeout in public places, go to someone’s house or a hotel or a weekend getaway. You should stay in your limits.”

Well, who will decide what are the limits and the exceptions to cross them. The fact is every couple wants to make out and there aren’t any places for them. Even if they were to find a secluded corner, most of the elders would purposely go and sit around so thay can stop them (from what World War III?). Time is changing faster than our thoughts and restrictions only lead to aggression. Live and let live. Give people the freedom to decide their own limits, as long as they aren’t being a menace.. And stay within the law.

“You can’t blame teens and young adults– this behaviour is the result of globalisation and exposure to foreign films, serials, Bollywood, raunchy music videos.
Young people want to experience what they see on screen. They want instant gratification and often get into timepass relationships. Their behaviour ignores sensitivities of society as a whole. It’s a very big challenge for parents and educators.
As a counsellor I generally advise young people that it’s very difficult to handle a physical relationship as it brings with it a lot of emotional turmoil. That can affect your career and your life in general, so think carefully before getting into it.
But if they tell me they are already in a physical relationship all I can say is: be safe. AIDS is a very real issue and awareness about the consequences of being casual or careless is very important”.
– Aarti Gupta, counsellor

WHAT HAPPENS IN KOLKATA?
St Xavier’s college Calcutta was known as much for its “green benches” as for its educational achievements and (bubble) reputation and the college fest and the list of Biggies having passed out from her e and blah blah blah…
But the green benches are no more.They are being broken down.Quite a furore it created.The benches were like the perfect place to hangout, and coochie coo.(depending on the climate, relationship status and other suchlike minor details).
But, the best make out place in St Xavier’s Calcutta, will have to be the the “audi steps”. There are around three pairs of such steps, the common factor being, well, that they are linked to the auditorium.Now in the two years of no-love-life-hence-frustrated life that I’ve spent in my college, I have noticed the following things about the audi-steps.
Although the steps are very much isolated from the rest of the college, they are not quite isolated from human kind, given that if you are walking down Park Street, you might just be the sixteen thousandth person to be gawking at the couples coochie cooing on the steps.
The audi steps being situated on the way to the Computer lab,apart from the Coumputer science students, no one really goes to that side of the college, hence the isolation. And the comp sc students don’t really care, as they have better and more important things to do in lifen than staring at a make out session. I mean I understand, opening up computers, talking about chips which have no potato-ish traits whatsoever, I mean all that is WAY more important than two(or more) jobless (shameless) people holding hands, and ahh..well doing other kinda stuff also.

AND DELHI?
You know the safest place to make out in Delhi? Right under everyone’s nose. Inside a car covered up in tarpaulin! Yes, these cars are a common sight but we bet you never knew what might be going on inside.
Says Ruchika, a student from UP who came to Delhi for higher studies. “I was shocked when I first learnt about this… Couples get into a car, ask a friend to cover it up and then they stay put in there. Later they call the same friend via cellphone and the tarpaulin is taken off.”
Kya khufiya dimaag hai!

THE MUMBAI COUNTDOWN?
* Powai Lake. Situated bang inside the IIT campus, this is a favourite, esp. the old abandoned boathouse somewhere near the guest house. Despite the bushy undergrowth and snakes.
* Mindspace Malad, BMC park. The guards conveniently look the other way.
* Metro Adlabs’ Ebony Lounge, or Fames’ Gold Class couch or Cinemax’s Red whatever-they-call-it. With the highly co-operative armrests. But for those on a low budget, the nearest sasta theatre with the dud film running will do.
* Empty house. Danger in the form of nosy aunties, dhobis and watchmen.
* College loo. Ugh, but seems to be popular!
* Jungles… such as Borivili national park.
* Public transport: cabs, autos, AC buses!
* Alleyways, staircases and parking lots – at malls.
* “Fish tank” at In Orbit Malad.
* Shady hotel in city… or Madh Island

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