This one time, my friend told me:
“I want a guy who will say I’m beautiful even when I’m hairy as a gorilla.”
To which I asked her a simple question,
” Would you call HIM handsome if he was hairy as a gorilla?”. *silence*
We’ve seen it in movies, read about it in books, and dreamt about it over and over again- The perfect guy. We live in the hope that when we get a guy, he will be just like prince charming, to sweep us off our feet and swoosh into the sunset. We’ve seen our friends with their boyfriends, appreciated, criticized and given advice every step of the way, waiting for our own turn. And when we finally, FINALLY get asked out by that one guy we’ve been crushing on, we know exactly how we want it to be- He should keep a dp with me, he should propose at XYZ place, he should give me flowers and pay for me, he should gift me a ring, and this and that, and whatnot.
Expectations. This is what ruins every relationship. Thing is, each of us has grown reading fairytales, watching romantic movies and curling up in our blankets with a steamy romance novel, and we are so fascinated that we want a boyfriend who is just like that, prince charming who woos us out of our minds.
Time and again I’ve read how boyfriends should be, how they should behave, how to be “the right way” and what girls want. Till I was single, I thought that too. But who thinks about the wants and needs of the other part, the not-so-perfect boys?
Do you know who brings the drama in a relationship? GIRLS Do you know who are not appreciative in the relationship? GIRLS Do you know who needs an attitude makeover? GIRLS
Boys are naturals. They don’t read books, they don’t dream about perfect dates or sunsets, they don’t plan. They are spontaneous. They do exactly what comes to their mind, when it comes to them, and that is beautiful because you know that it is as natural as can be. They may not value gifts so much, but the treasure every moment that they spend with you, because gifts can perish but memories do not. They are not the stereotypical romantics but they work so hard to keep you happy and make you feel special. And they are worried every time you say something because you always have something for them to read between the lines, to know what you really mean.
I read this somewhere, “A boyfriend should ALWAYS send a goodmorning and goodnight text, just so you know you’re on his mind”. Seriously? That much formality is needed just so you know that you’re on his mind? And the part when you say “I love you” you want him to say “I love you more.” Why?
If you let a guy go just because he isn’t romantic enough or if he doesn’t have enough time to spend it all on you, he is not going to wait. He will leave, heartbroken. because perfect guys, they don’t exist. But there is always one guy who is perfect for you.
“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyse. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”
― Bob Marley
Do you really want your guy to be cheesy and sappy? A relationship can only handle one girl, not two. Let him be the guy, let him play video games and be clueless about what to gift you, you know he’ll be thinking harder than he did for an Economics exam and anything he gives will always be special and you know it, because he is the one giving it. I’m not saying let go of everything, because that isn’t right. But let there be breathing space, where both him and you can be happy and in love.
Relationships are not hardwork. They’re just two people being a part of each other’s lives. Don’t be the just friends and don’t be the wife. Be you, the girl he fell in love with and he is sure to reciprocate. After all, it’s your chance at a happily ever after 🙂
NOTE: THE WRITER OF THIS ARTICLE IS ALSO A GIRL 😛