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Nobel(e)sse oblige

Since the Nobel Prize Committee seems to be short of candidates for the peace prize, Saurabh Datar recommends some truly deserving candidates…

Bah! Barack Obama has added another feather to his cap with his Nobel Prize for peace. But the awarders have overlooked one of the top contenders in the race. Me. Or rather, the common man of India. Here are the top five reasons why Indians should be the winners of the Nobel Peace prize.

1. We have, for years, put up with this, mostly peacefully, with a few scuffles here and there. Don’t we deserve something, oh Nobel minded folks?

2. We have tolerated truckloads of dung from these two.

3. Obama has gotten a prize in hope that he will do the work he has claimed he will carry out. We have been hoping for work to be done for 62 years. But all we get is a rusted board saying Work in Progress. Now, how is that fair?

4. We have put up with him and her without turning violent. Period.

5. Election season equals live demonstrations of Bluffmaster. We’ve seen it way too many times, that too without Priyanka Chopra.

Reasons why Obama won the prize:
1. He had a predecessor like George Walter Bush. A look at his resume will explain why…
Name: George W Bush
Residence: Texas
Academic Profile: Have passed in exams (phew!)
Work experience: I have personally undertaken three big projects during my tenure.

Afghanistan aka Project Osama: Completely destroyed and dismantled the country. No one has done it before.

Iraq aka Project WMD: Achieved similar results as above.

World economy: Caused a global collapse with my unchecked credit policy. Everyone lost their jobs, and, hence, it has helped reduce the gap between the rich and the poor.

See what I mean? Anyone who comes after him will, I repeat, will definitely come across as a saviour or an angel. Obama didn’t really have to do anything. Just the end of Bush’s tenure was such a paradigm shift for the Nobel committee that they had to give it to him.

2. Let’s face it. He is the commander in chief of the world’s largest nuclear arsenal. He only needs to say a few words and poof, there goes the world!

3. He’s made so many speeches and comments on ‘world peace’ and ‘religious tolerance’ and the likes that the people in Sweden actually got bored and decided to give it to him.

– Saurabh Datar

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