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Maharishi Dayanand college, Mumbai

Prof Cool Dude:
His round physique might give Adnan Sami a major comlex. He wears the tightest of the shirts, has spiky gelled hair and walks around with a cap that says ‘COOL’. He fakes an accent to impress the girls and calls even the weirdest looking of the lot “Julia Roberts” (coz she’s the only Hollywood actress he’s aware of). He never teaches us a thing but passes everybody on one condition: that we laugh at all his sickening jokes. And the best part of all – he claims to be the mastermind behind the Hutch ad!!

Prof Pyasi Jawani:
The ratio of guys to girls during her lectures is 25:2. Why? Coz she wears the skimpiest of the clothes and makes her subject as interesting as The Kamasutra. She distributes free disc passes and picks one of the guys as her date. The girls all envy her while the guys keep nodding their heads even though they don’t have the slightest idea what she’s teaching. The highlight of her lectures: when she does her killer cross-legged pose ala Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct.

Prof Eternally Young:
She must be in her mid 60s but can still finish first in the Mumbai marathon. She can have endless discussions on any damn topic in the world. Believe it or not she was once a tailor and today she teaches us about brand building. If you’re in the mood for some time pass, just utter the name “Kareena Kapoor” and she’ll bitch about her till you swear upon God that you won’t watch any of her movies. She considers herself as evergreen as Rekha and claims to have missed making it to the Final Four in V Popstars contest by a point.

Prof Sleeping Beast:
Throw chalks, paper rockets or spill ink on his shirt, he won’t budge. He’ll remain still till an earthquake occurs. He wears the same clothes everyday so you can easily sense his arrival. His lectures follow the same pattern everyday: He’ll give us an assignment to write and doze off while we go out and have a stroll to inhale some fresh air

Prof Nagin:
She is the ex-editor of a film rag and so is more interested in the love lives of the students than in their academic performance. She gets some kind of sarcastic pleasure by creating “daraar” among the students. Ekta Kapoor, do you need a villainous bahu for your next soap?

Prof Patient:
She inhales Vicks every other minute, pops pills with lots of enthusiasm and carries loads of tissues to help stop her running nose which flows like a “jharna”. You can hear ribs crack when she sneezes. Recently, she tried to pronounce “rendezvous” and collapsed. She avoids using tongue twisters now. She’s seldom seen during winter coz she‘s usually laid up in bed due to frequent attacks of pneumonia.

–VIREN .NAIDU ,JBC ,maharshi .dayanand (MD)college.

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