A few days ago I decided to shutdown the connection to my Tata Sky HD, firstly because I realized that TV eats up all my precious time that can be better spent staring at my mobile and secondly because I can’t afford to pay the monthly subscription charges anymore.
But after my hasty decision to cancel the connection, I face a dire dilemma because I canÔÇÖt decide whether I should turn my 42 inches LED into a table top, an ironing board, or a vegetable chopping plate.
I began to realize that there was just no use of that overgrown photo frame hanging on my wall without any channels to watch. Although I could have watched movies using a pen-drive, but if I watched movies on my TV, then I would actually have to use my computer to do (gasp!) work! And that was not going to happen, I already work enough at my office, even if my boss doesn’t agree with that statement.
Soon the desperation to watch moving images started to set in, I stayed back in my canteen just to watch if Allu Arjun could actually achieve the title of Ek aur Rakshak. I even began to appreciate the true poetic meaning of Nicki MinajÔÇÖs Anaconda as she gave a lap dance to the man she referred to as her brother on VH1. Then again, who am I to judge? Cersei and Jaime always seem like such a happy couple.
During weekends at home I even toyed with the idea of watching Doordarshan, but watching Doordarshan HD is like watching your eighty year old wife decked up in make-up and shapewear. Sure, it might look good at first, but even you know whatÔÇÖs actually hidden underneath all that rouge, mascara, and leather bodice.
With nothing to amuse me, I began to realize that the humankind needs entertainment as much as food, clothing and shelter. But I believe that entertainment is even beyond all that, when you are having fun, you donÔÇÖt even remember to eat. You can also be thrilled outside your shelter, like sitting in a sweltering Mumbai stadium, watching the Indian team lose, again. You can even be entertained without clothes—but that is another story.
Now I have decided to start a crowd funding program so that I can pay the greedy Tata Sky people and get on with my normal life. Pay me people, I need your money more than starving children in Africa, and I can assure you it is all for a good cause. ItÔÇÖs to keep sarcastic, annoying, and rude people (like me) off the streets.
IÔÇÖm right here waiting for your replies, while ironing clothes on my new 42 inches ironing board. Please hurry!