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Kaho, Na Kaho!

Does your boyfriend give you a “dil shape waala” balloon everyday? Or do you get a cold treatment everytime you say those three words? Thomas “tom” Koshy sorts things out…

“I’m really getting attached to you y’know?”
“Uhuh?”
“Like, I feel… I really like you a lot!”
“Uhuh?”
“……..”
“Hmmm”
“???”
“You wanna go eat something?”

1, owww, 2, owwwch!, 3 yaowwww! Stop plucking your hair in frustration my child. Chill!

Have coffee.
Pull your pants down.
Sit down.
Read on as what I’m gonna tell you shall clear the crap out of your head and flush it out.

Now these are two common species: a) the kind who don’t open their traps, b) the kind who don’t know when to shut it.

1) Talk shows
These people are very emotional and bring up the topic of ‘Love’ everytime the BMC digs the road. They may say, “I thought about you yesterday while passing by Taraporevala Aquarium“. They could sometimes also act like Tom Cruise; jumping up and down on the couch. Then there are ones who look into your eyes and express their love. On the downside they’ll seek a reply everytime you keep the phone after speaking to them.

When, after some time, you finally express your feelings, they’ll get emotional; maybe cry and tell you they could die for you and that they want to marry you!

Their speech at the end of the day may communicate
I will over express my feelings thinking you don’t feel it with the intensity that I do.

I am not clear about my feelings, but will blabber to convince you that you are the sun, the moon and even the toilet paper roll.

I want to convince you that I’m indeed “the one” so I can sleep with you.

+ points
These guys don’t wait for special occasions. Their expressions are spontaneous and confident. It gives you a kind of reinforcement that you are important to them. Yes they’ll try to reason, get angry when you leave them, but the preceding mini melodrama is even worse.

2) Silent Film
I love you“, you tell them, and wait for a satisfying reply that completes the feeling like it does in all those movies. An emotional moment. Hmmmm… you are waiting, waiting. They’ll shuffle their foot a bit, or they’ll look at you with a glint in the eye, or they’ll change the topic.Yes, they are not verbally expressive. But pressing them on, or trying to change them is not going to set their tongues wagging (even if you do a pole dance).

Their actions at the end of the day communicate
Have feelings for you, but won’t say it thinking the three worded phrase may be cheezy/ corny.
or

Feel it’s too early to rush in to say something so intimate.
or

They don’t speak English

+ points
Your PDA-shy love is a good listener, hugs you when you just look into their eyes. They will not sing you a love song with the guitar but they’ll secretly play you a song from the jukebox on special occasions. They know when you are pissed, and don’t bog you down with talk-to-me-pressures. They don’t loudly proclaim, when you break up with them. They’ll instead cry in silence and move on.

Final Words:
Now, the inexpressive ones: IT HELPS IF YOU SAY IT. When one feels lost or sad, one needs warmth. So open your mouth and speak, we haven’t read all of Dan Brown‘s works to figure out your subliminal or coded actions. So don’t keep us hanging on clues.

The Shekhar Sumans: please don’t keep saying “the phrase” everytime you see a Cornetto ad or Kuch Kuch Hota Hai or Kal Ho Na Ho for the 256th time. We’d rather have you say ‘thank you’ more sincerely after we dump you.

To all of you who are stuck with either of the extremes, chill, give the other half some time. Genuine feelings count more than expressions. Do not make judgements based on their sole verbal expression or the lack of it! All the “I love yous” in the world don’t mean a thing if the better half doesn’t feel genuine and happy about it.

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