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I know what you did last summer, spring & autumn, thanks to facebook!!

“I chipped my nail today”—-Status updated

1 min passed—Let me check if some has commented. Page Refreshed…Oh yes, a notification. Crap, it is just another candy crush invitation.

2 min passed—Time to check again. Maybe people aren’t online. Note to myself—Don’t post in the afternoon.

3 min passed—Yessss…a notification. DesperatelySweet commented on your post.

Comment: Awwww…how did you chip it? Does it hurt?

DesperatelySweet is one of those girls who could live their entire life using only these words: Awwww, babe, darling, omg, muuuhaaaa, and lol.

Should I like her comment? Should I reply? Hmmmm…May be after sometime, I don’t want to look desperate for attention.

After 10 minutes, page refreshed, 2 new notifications. Now we talking!!

FriendzonedGuy commented: When did this happenL ? (One of those guys who will message separately to show that he REALLY cares)

SarcasticGuy commented: Wow, we really care!! I died a little just thinking of the pain you went through. (Ironically cares enough to read and has more than sufficient time to comment)

Should I delete the comment from the bloody attention seeker? But that would be mean one less comment. But then again he is hogging my status.

Message notification: FriendzonedGuy sent you a message

FriendzonedGuy: Hey are you alright?

You: typing…

FriendzonedGuy: Does it hurt?

You: typing…

FriendzonedGuy: You should be more careful

You: It happened in the morning, I banged my toe into the door L

FriendzonedGuy: Did you go to the doctor?

You: No…it is okay now, does not hurt much

By now your interest level in this conversation has dropped lower than Rakhi Sawant’s IQ.

You: Hey I gotta go, some work just came up. See ya later.

FriendzonedGuy: Sure, but you take care of yourself, or will have to drag you to the doctor J

You: J J

I wish I could drag him to a pyre.

Time to check the likes and comments again. Damn, many guys liking the comment from SarcasticGuy. Meanwhile SarcasticGuy updates his status.

SarcasticGuy decides to share his opinion on politics. It amount of distress he expresses on the current state of affairs almost equals the distress I felt when I saw Sonu Nigam act.

ModiFan comments by sharing his views on the utopian world which would be created by Modi if elected.

Their optimism would put even Uday Chopra’s repeated attempts of becoming an actor to shame.

AAP_fan: blah blah…Jan Lokpal Bill…Blah Blah…Corruption….Got to go to a Dharna

I wonder should I jump into the conversation and express my seriously ill informed views on the topic? Or maybe I could unload the burden of defending my opinions by sharing some opinionated articles on the same?

News feed shows #OveryInLove updated her status “I am so lucky to have met you @bf, you are my soul mate, love, hugs, kisses”

Oh god. I am sure even the guys who said make love not war, must regret it now. Just when I thought its done, I receive an event notification letting me know that #OverlyInlove is tying the knot.

A few days later,

#OverlyInlove posts: Wedding shopping with @mom, @maasi, @neighbour,@neighboursdog, @salemansellingsaree, @strangeratsamestore

#OverlyInlove posts: Omg the day has finally come, I will be united with the love of my life, I am so excited and nervous

100 likes..

#OverlyInlove comments: Thank you all for your wishes

#OverlyInlove posts: Day 1 as Mrs #Blah (Uploads a pic of the couple)

#NeverMetTheGroom comments: Wow you guys look so cute together

#NeverSpokenToTheGroom comments: You guys are meant for each other

I am sure a selfie of a goofily smiling couple gives you deep insight about whether they were meant to be.

#OverlyInlove posts: On our way to our honeymoon

Breaking news, the National IQ score of India just went up.

But it is a good time to be a man, you will never get into a fight about not remembering dates, just revisit the timeline, and bang, the first time you met, the first date, the first movie together, the first drink together, the first time you broke up, the first time you met the family and many other firsts..

That reminds me I should post some comment on #OverlyInlove’s status, can’t stay out of the public eye for too long..

Ahhhh may be later, I got to pee, I wonder if you can check in to the toilet

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