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FAKE THIS!

You login to Facebook. You nurture your ‘farm’, chat on the amazingly slow and painful Facebook chat. And then, you don’t know how to waste your time further? Enter the world of the Fake. No, not fake like Rakhi Sawant. Not fake like the emotions in reality shows. These guys are (ironically) the real deal, putting their words incisively on blogs, tweeting away unabashedly and providing some really hilarious reads for all those who like their humour doses in the direct form. Here are a few guys you should be reading

FAKING NEWS.COM

What it is?

The site calls itself the ‘leading news satire website of India’ and has a tagline: “Where the truth doesn’t hide, where truth doesn’t hurt” And truly enough, the site has some hilarious takes on current events and hot topics in the news. Be it the Sania-Shoaib fiasco, the barrage of ads in the IPL or any other topic, FN is there. One of the most famous posts on FN is the ‘Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe’ post. The post got forwarded thousands of times and some foreign newspapers mistook it to be real news and used it as a source for news articles!

Gimme, Gimme! Here is a sample from the website.

Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe

In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of men grooming products, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’.

Vaibhav (Bedi) was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her by appearing naked in front of her after applying all the Axe products.

“Where the f**k is the Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect my foot”, Vaibhav complains.

THE SECRET JOURNAL OF RAKESH JHUNJHUNWALA

What it is?

It is one of the funniest blogs online. Claiming to be the secret journal of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala, the famous investor, the ‘journal’ follows a free-for-all system. No one is spared. Since Rakeshbhai is the ‘god and the market is his altar’, he can do whatever he wants! The posts follow freely with very innovative Photoshop edits of images and awesomely witty captions. The rich guy is also on Twitter (@jhunjhunwala) where the background sports the image of RJ as a king and a caption – “I made greatness GREAT before which it was only known as ness”. You just have to visit the site to know what I’m talking about.

Gimme, Gimme! Here is an excerpt from www.rakeshjhunjhunwala.in

M[ad] People

….Angad Bedi has a doubt and asks Lalit Modi.

THE ANGAD BEDI: By the Way Lalit Sir. I have a huge doubt. See supposing it’s a big DLF IPL match. Let’s say Mumbai Indians vs. Rajasthan Royals. Assume that Yusuf Pathan is batting and Dwayne Bravo is bowling.

It’s the 19th over, Rajasthan need 5 runs of six balls. Dwayne Bravo balls…..Yusuf Pathan swings… it connects.

And the ball appears to have gone for a six …..errr…..sorry DLF Maximum BUT is just caught short of the boundary line by a brilliant diving catch by Lasith Malinga and Yusuf Pathan is out.

My question Lalit Sir, is whether we have to call this catch a Karbonn Kamal Catch or a Citi Moment Of Success?

I’m confused because Yusuf Pathan’s wicket is a wonderful or Kamal catch but it’s also the Karbonn Kamal Catch which leads to the Citi Moment Of Success. But on the other hand, it could be called a Karbonn Kamal Catch BUT it wouldn’t be a successful moment. That however is not possible since catching the Kamal Karbonn Catch by default makes it a Citi Moment Of Success.

So in this hypothetical scenario, is it a case of the Karbonn Kamal Catch or a Citi Moment Of Success? That is a paradox inherent to the nature of the DLF IPL.

Fake IPL Player:

Known as FIP, he took the web by storm with his hilarious posts on KKR’s miseries, supposedly written as insider’s scoops, though he’s always said the blog is a fake one. And who can forget his rib-tickling monikers? Only the mention of the name Appam C*****a is enough. He also has a published book called ‘The Gamechangers’ to his credit. FIP is around on Twitter these days. Follow ‘_fakeiplplayer’ for occasionally funny tweets.

FAKE BAL THAKRE:

What it is?
He is the Hinduhridaysamrat, Shivsenapramukh, editor Saamna, cartoonist, Ex-Remote Control, and a fan of the Hitler (according to his Twitter profile). It’s a funny take on the ‘Tiger’, tweeted in a typical Marathi-English accent. There is also a blog called fakebalthakre.wordpress.com.

Gimme Gimme!

fakebalthakre Indians of 4 type 1.Marathi Manoos,2.Bhaiyya to north,3.Lungiwala to south ,4.Lungiwala Bhaiyya to east. Mumbai is only for Marathi Manoos OK?

@fakebalthakre Finally, Shoaib divorces his ‘Ayesha-Aapa’. Now if Shoaib calls Hindusthani cricketer ‘Saala’, Hindusthani can say something back.

@fakebalthakre From Gopal Ganesh Agarkar to Ajit Bhalchandra Agarkar.
The glorious march of Maratha history.

FAKE RAJ THAKRE:

What it is?

There are actually two accounts (@rajuthackeray, @fakerajthackre). The latter is the one tweeting away in the ‘language of the soil’ and regularly abusing ‘outsiders’. Agarkar’s stellar performance in a KKR match led to @rajuthackeray tweeting “Are Hagarkar kiti Hagtoy…” @fakerajthackre refers to Ashok Chavan as the mussulman Ashok Khan. (It’s all satirical, for anyone who wishes to take up cudgels against this account).

Gimme, Gimme!

– Sorry all the manoos, I was in Aurangabad etc fighting the court case put by that Musalman Ashok Khan. Back in the MUMBAI. More tweeting!
– I am going to be the guardian of the tweeter, not like the old denturewalla tiger @fakebalthakre

@akargosrani Arent you sindhi? From my construction business I have learnt you people are worse than
bhaiyyas also.

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