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Species

I Spy: My Daughter & That Guy

A possible conversation, in the near future, between two cavorting young people, a passionate couple, sitting somewhere on the rocks off Bandra Bandstand on a breezy winter evening with just the right amounts of cloud to be romantic: Girl: Darling I just love sitting here and seeing your hair tremble in the breeze… Boy: And I can spend my entire ...

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Baby Species

Babies, those sweet little angels. Well I don’t think so, cause their tiny brains are constantly contriving to irk us. Baby Projectile This baby gives the term ‘hot springs’ a whole new meaning. It’s amusing to see a tiny toddler shoot up watery sprays to unimaginable heights. But it stops being amusing once the spray hits you dead on your ...

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Airline Species

One of the perks of having a job that involves extensive cross-country airplane traveling, in addition to gathering frequent flyer miles, is observing (and documenting) various kinds of “airline species“. Here are a few notable types: Air-ghostesses: Ghosts cannot be seen – and neither can they! They obviously have graduated from the Hogwarts school of Air-Ghostess training with distinction in ...

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Mutt Species

They say ‘Dog is a man’s best friend’ – a thought not supported by some individuals like me. Why? Well if they collectively decide to make your life miserable everyday and everytime, then there has to be a problem. Don’t believe Nimish Varadkar? Well, read the following and then you might just agree with him. Operasaurous: Mostly made up of ...

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External Species

Bin Laden, probably, is not responsible for this one. Once in six months externals come visiting (terrorising, some say) engineering students during the vivas. JAM presents the most commonly seen terro… er, externals that are seen in MU. The Marathi Manoos: This ache-sternal is simply ill-equipped to speak in the Queen’s language. We aren’t exactly complaining here. But it does ...

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Ticketless Travellers Species

If you are wondering why the Indian Railways runs into such massive losses despite the fact that the number of people travelling by train everyday is roughly five times the population of Australia, it’s probably because a majority of these travellers don’t bother to buy tickets. Here are a few of the varieties of ticketless travellers you are likely to ...

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Honeymoon Species

Be it Matheran or Mauritius, a 7 star hotel or a 3 star lodge, there’s just no escape from newly-weds. Viren Naidu gives you the dope on some of the specimens you’re likely to spot on your next holiday. 1. Raat Thakeli Hai Species These are couples who have been planning their honeymoon since the time they got engaged. They ...

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Guest Species

Whoever said that guests are an incarnation of God, think again. Having seen so many of these irritants visiting my house lately, I have come to the conclusion that they are no more than a nuisance – a dimaag ko shot in our already torturous life. Know why? Have a look at some painful Guest Species. The MBBS (Miya Biwi ...

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Valentine’s day species

Love is in the air and almost everyone seems to have caught the ailment. The same viral strain manifests itself in different ways in different people. Presenting Valentine’s Day species. 1. Baap Ka Maal The ‘cool’ maalamaal dudes and dudettes whose sole purpose in life is to SHOW-OFF their man or woman. For guys, uses of their beloved include getting ...

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Annoying Bus Conductor Species

If you live in Mumbai, moving about by bus is not always the BEST way to travel, especially when you have to deal the following Annoying Bus Conductor species: 1. The Ass Always has his ass stuck to the seat handles, mostly near the ladies seats. Claims he does it to balance himself in the constantly moving bus. Most likely ...

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