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Humour

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Vinod G presents a thesis on ‘The Process of Locating a Cosmetically Enhanced Female Specimen on the Internet’ If you’re a guy, how would you like it if someone told you that you could sit at home all day, in your pyjamas which are still wet with drool, doing absolutely nothing, not even brushing your teeth, emitting a stench foul ...

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The Weekly Nonsense

Starting out this month, The Weekly Nonsense will answer all your queries and help you down the path of true enlightenment. Be it any damn thing in the world, the people at WN know it all Why is it called ‘Weekly Nonsense’? Isn’t JAM a fortnightly? Ah, the inquisitive reader, eh? Well, the name suggests that the column is worth ...

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Mumbai: The City that Loves. In Public.

Ah Mumbai! That great metropolis. That colossal melting pot of cultures and civilizations. That hotbed of industry and finance. The city that cares for its inhabitants. The city that caters to every whim and fancy of its resilient populace as long as that populace is rich and influential or moronic and easily manipulatable. Indeed Mumbai is a city of dreams. ...

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Let India’s footie train-ing

Saurabh Datar comes up with an innovative, yet sure-shot away to get the Indian football team to score in future World Cups The FIFA World Cup 2010 draws are out. And there isn’t exactly a group of death per se, except for Ivory Coast, which is in the same group as Brazil, Portugal and North Korea. This means an almost ...

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Selling Your Sole

There are words that can strike terror into the hearts of even the most hardened men, such as ‘Vasectomy’and ‘Dry Day’. But the deadliest phrase ever has got to be ‘Shoe Shopping’. Legend has it that this vile practice began sometime during the Stone Age, when a primitive female frantically gestured towards an approaching crocodile. The male gallantly strode forward, ...

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Dummies guide to accounting

“Let there be liabilities!” With this cryptic statement, our MANAC professor asked us to continue with the case. This was the third class, and until this my understanding of the rudimentary concepts had been proper. (Yes! Hard to believe but I can still can proclaim loudly from the rooftops – there was a time exactly 2 sessions – when I ...

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This is IT!

It’s not the AC cubicle and desktop with 4GB RAM. It’s not even the obscene salaries, the ever-expanding free pool/bench, the hierarchy or the unnecessary formal clothing. MEGHNA BHUJWALA tells you the real tricks to identifying an IT company. The IT Belly So, you thought it was only politicians, babus and hawaldars who sported pot bellies? Well, welcome to the ...

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Who da Man?

Indian presidents are like Chandler Bing and Kosmo Kramer. Everybody knows who they are, but slap me silly if anyone actually knows what they do. In stark contrast are their American counterparts, who’re faced with real-world challenges such as figuring out the spelling of Afghanistan. JAM organised a Presidential Pageant, where The Honourable Ramchandra Mutt (RM) grilled contestants to decide ...

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Nobel(e)sse oblige

Since the Nobel Prize Committee seems to be short of candidates for the peace prize, Saurabh Datar recommends some truly deserving candidates… Bah! Barack Obama has added another feather to his cap with his Nobel Prize for peace. But the awarders have overlooked one of the top contenders in the race. Me. Or rather, the common man of India. Here ...

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Pati, Patni and Woah!

Gary’s mantra for success has stirred up a horn(y)et’s nest. Mr. Kirsten, appalled by the old-school coaching methods used for Team India, has prepared a sex-y 4-page ‘vision document’ on performance-enhancing (pun totally intended) tactics for better results, in (strictly professional) partnership with mental conditioning coach Paddy Upton. While the Indian team has been scurrying for cover, trying to dodge ...

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