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Laugh Out Loud

Fluffy Rice Cakes

I saw it everyday for two years of my life. It just sat there on the other side of the window between the kitchen and the dining hall, leaning against the pane. It was always clean as a whistle but unmistakably ancient. The dull grey surface of the aluminium betrayed what must be a career of at least a decade ...

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Maximus Stupidus: Rain Is Falling Chhama Chham Chham!

It’s here! It’s finally here! No, not the Apocalypse. (The Apocalypse happened last week when due to low disk space, I was forced to delete some “important video files”. *Sob*). I’m talking about the monsoon – a time for poetry, for love, loneliness and water-borne diseases. No seriously, I love the monsoon. In fact, if monsoon were a woman, I’d ...

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Ask with confidence!

Something you are too embarrassed to talk about? Afraid to share a deep, dark secret with your best friend because it involves her fiancé, whipped cream and a handycam? Need help but don’t know who to ask? Well then this is your lucky day! For Assmopolitan’s very own in-house relationships specialist, Dr. Victor Terminus is here to help. Just drop ...

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Assmo Commandments: 10 Ways To Tell If You’re Headed For Dumpsville

1. He assigns a special caller tune for you – Metallica’s ” Die Die Die My Darling!” 2. He gets your name tattooed…on a stray dog, which he kicks around with much gusto. 3. He gifts you the same dog, but conveniently forgets to give it a rabies shot. 4. Whenever you’re out on a date, he spends his time ...

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