buffalo batsman!
Excuse while I get up off the floor and reattach my jaw. I have just managed to complete reading undoubtedly the most hilarious article of the freaking week so far on the site of DNA, one of Mumbai’s newer newspapers.
The yentyre kentry has been talking about Sachin’s ending trouble when it comes to whipping that ball over cover to get that century. Clearly no one had thought of asking Bejan Daruwala what needed to be done. “Who better to solve a sporting technique problem?” you did not say just now?
Neither did we.
Here are some titbits from Mr. Daruwala’s vast knowledge:
…according to Chinese astrology, Tendulkar is also a Buffalo, a cousin of the bull — and these two systems combined make him a Double Bull.
Cricketers of other countries please note: There should be a strategy to get Tendlya out using a red cloth and some good timing.
He certainly has his limitations, but getting 41 ODI centuries is not a joke. His work over the years speaks highly of him.
Tendulkar’s planet is Mars, which is the planet of energy, whose number is nine. And that is what makes the journey from 90 to 100 difficult for him.
Mine is Uranus. What is yours? Also is that what makes my journey from Thane to Churchgate so difficult?
At this point the article suddenly goes to what must be a whole new level for astrology.
Because he is a loving and faithful husband, to get out of his nervous 90s, I would suggest that Tendulkar follow four steps:
1.Sleep in the lap of his wife and tell her to love him sweetly and gently
2. Cook his own mutton cheese burgers and eat them
3. Have a terrific bath
4. Jump in his Ferrari and go for a drive
The above things will help him in automatically releasing his nervous energy. As Ganesha means Mars, I would suggest he chants the mantra ‘Om Gan Ganpataye Namaha’ on Tuesdays (it’s the day of Mars).
Doubt: Does Anjali do it sweetly and gently WHILE he is cooking his own mutton cheese burgers? Or immediately after?
It closes with the concerned journalist leaving a little disclaimer:
All said and done, astrology is not the beginning and end of life. It is a part of life. It’s just a guideline. Astrology can sometimes go wrong as well. Even Daruwalla can go wrong. In love and in cricket, even the mighty Daruwalla can lose his wicket.
F!@#. Are you saying that the mutton cheese burgers WONT work?! Just when we thought…
Daruwala lost his wicket in love? Where? How? How come? I need to know this. Not necessarily see it though.
Click here to read this momentous occasion in Indian journalism yourself.
Excuse while I get up off the floor and reattach my jaw. I have just managed to complete reading undoubtedly the most hilarious article of the freaking week so far on the site of DNA, one of Mumbai’s newer newspapers.
The yentyre kentry has been talking about Sachin’s ending trouble when it comes to whipping that […]
Sir Botham shows his stuff
I have always loved Ian Botham for this approach to cricket and for proving to the world that fat people can be cool AND good at sports. Tomorrow Botham will receive his knighthood and add the “Sir” to his name.
In this recent interview Botham once again reminds us why he will always be one of the most colourful people in cricket:
“I was playing for Durham, against the Aussies, and David Boon faced my last-ever ball. Booney was struggling for his Test place and was deadly serious. But he just about fell over laughing and shouted, ‘Beefy, you can’t do this to me.’ I was midway though my run-up and he’d spotted that I’d unzipped my fly and hauled out the meat and two veg. The old man was dangling in the wind as I steamed in. If I’d got it on target I would’ve bowled him. I thought it was a nice way to go out.”
More -> Big interview: Ian Botham | Cricket | Guardian Unlimited Sport
I have always loved Ian Botham for this approach to cricket and for proving to the world that fat people can be cool AND good at sports. Tomorrow Botham will receive his knighthood and add the “Sir” to his name.
In this recent interview Botham once again reminds us why he will always be one of […]
Dopey Girl
Marion Jones will plead guilty to steroid use.
May also be stripped of five medals from the 2000 Sydney Olympics. How the mighty have fallen indeed! The article from IHT is a sad story of many many such falls from stardom.
More here -> Olympic champion Jones acknowledges use of steroids
Marion Jones will plead guilty to steroid use.
May also be stripped of five medals from the 2000 Sydney Olympics. How the mighty have fallen indeed! The article from IHT is a sad story of many many such falls from stardom.
More here -> Olympic champion Jones acknowledges use of steroids
Read more...Sore Lewisers
Lewis Hamilton fans be afraid! After what seemed like a kickass win in Japan and a sure step to a historic championship on debut suddenly there is a twist in the tail:
Webber and Button have been cribbing about how Hamilton was driving most weirdly behind the safety car. Stewards are looking into it and we await a final decision.
BBC: Hamilton faces Japan win inquiry
Rediff: Hamilton’s Japan win to be probed
Too early to say what impact this will have on the Driver’s Championship. Currently, if he is proven guilty, Hamilton will lose all ten points AND ten grid spaces during the Shanghai race.
If so then the championship is suddenly open again. And how!
Much tension in the Hamilton camp.
Lewis Hamilton fans be afraid! After what seemed like a kickass win in Japan and a sure step to a historic championship on debut suddenly there is a twist in the tail:
Webber and Button have been cribbing about how Hamilton was driving most weirdly behind the safety car. Stewards are looking into it and we […]
