We point your attention towards this outstanding story in today’s Bombay Times. It is a symbol of all that is great and good with journalism that has been paid for by a PR company.

The article is about Qazi Touqeer, that man who won Fame Gurukul, who became famous for having the highest scoring name in Scrabble. You know, if you could use names in Scrabble. Sure you remember him? No? Ok so let the TOI do it for you:

When Kashmir’s 19-year-old Qazi Touqeer first appeared on television in the music reality show Fame Gurukul, viewers couldn’t help but comment on the boy’s Hrithik Roshan look. His longish hair and lighteyes did have some resemblance to the Krrish star.

Yes. They were very very similar to Hritik Roshan’s in the sense they both have hair and both eyes.

Two years down the line, Qazi is set to take on Hrithik Roshan himself! Well, the boy is ready to set foot in Bollywood as an actor. His first movie Take Off is almost ready and Qazi’s very excited. “It’s got dance, romance, a lot of scope for acting. And, I’m also singing my own songs,” says the 21-year-old, who incidentally is not a trained singer.

People of India: WE NOTICED!

The movie is produced by Nasim Rizvi, the producer of Chori Chori Chupke Chupke, who was in jail for alleged underworld connections. Ask Qazi about this and he says, “It’s a fantastic script and that’s all that mattered to me. Nasim Rizvi is a sweet guy.”

A sweet guy who perhaps smuggled a leetle bit of cocaine and such like.

From a lanky lad, Qazi’s come a long way. After he was declared winner on the reality show, he took a break, gained weight and worked hard on building his physique.

So does he really have a Hritik Roshan hangover? “When I was on the show, people said that. I was glad because Hrithik is a good-looking, hot guy. But no, I don’t have a Hrithik hangover. I am Qazi Touqeer and I’m happy being that. And by the way, people now compare me with Sylvester Stallone. Of course, I have no idea why,” he smiles.

Clue why people compare: CANNOT ACT.

Click here to read more of this blunderful story.

We point your attention towards this outstanding story in today’s Bombay Times. It is a symbol of all that is great and good with journalism that has been paid for by a PR company.
The article is about Qazi Touqeer, that man who won Fame Gurukul, who became famous for having the highest scoring name in […]

Read more...

Most people still flinch when one mentions the entire Nithari killings episode. Monindher Singh Pandher rapidly became the face of pure evil on TV and in print media all over the country.

While the case, I believe, is still sub judice, a rag tag bunch of ambitious movie makers have decided to make a movie of the whole imbroglio. And going by the Press Release and photos we received at JAM recently it all looks like a TERRIBLE idea. I will let the press release speak:

"D – 5" Nithari’s Cruel Reality on Screen

Every Indian stunned when they heard about sexual abuse and killing of innocents childs at ‘D-5′ Bunglo in Nithari. Producer Sanjeev Kumar Medh and Harish J.Gupta are presenting this blood chilling reality on screen with writer - director Yogi. The most negative roling master Raza Murad is playing Maninder Singh Pandher. The main accused of the Nitari case, Gopal Sing (Trafic Signal Fame) is potraiying Surinder and new comer Aleka playing Payal the call girl & victim. Ali Khan is playing Inspector Rana.

While speaking on his role Raza Murad told that he was very much felt thrill to play such a devil’s role and also exited though he was absorving keenly the original accused right from the start he did not know that one day he would be offer for to play this role. This is a very much eye opener films to the all parents towards be awareness for their childrens safety.

The film is very soon going on to the floor and will completed within two months to release early in the next year.

WTF! Childs? Negative Roling Master? Very much felt thrill? Absorving? Childrens Safety?

Call it for what it is dude! A soft porn flick! Currently this ranks as the leader in our WORST PRESS RELEASE OF THE YEAR contest.

Added bonus were the pics, one of which I will display here:

Something tells me this movie is going to be a must watch for the entire family!

Most people still flinch when one mentions the entire Nithari killings episode. Monindher Singh Pandher rapidly became the face of pure evil on TV and in print media all over the country.
While the case, I believe, is still sub judice, a rag tag bunch of ambitious movie makers have decided to make a movie of […]

Read more...

JK Rowling has taken everyone by surprise with her recent announcement that Dumbledore, everyone’s favourite Principal of a School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, is/was gay. Last night Rashmi sat and watched all the Harry Potter movies again to detect all possible gay undertones when Dumbledore was on screen.

“Clearly he is gay. I do not know how I missed it!” is what Rashmi said when she came in today morning.

Parents of Potter fans are already up in arms of course. How to explain the concept of gay love to ten years olds? “We downloaded you from the internet” is already being used by many parents to avoid the topic of regular sex anyways.

Babychen at Danching with Shadows has a hilarious set of Brokeback meets Dumbledore pics that will make great desktops for a week before you start getting looks from the people in the office:

Click here to see more rib-ticklers from Babychen’s handiwork.

JK Rowling has taken everyone by surprise with her recent announcement that Dumbledore, everyone’s favourite Principal of a School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, is/was gay. Last night Rashmi sat and watched all the Harry Potter movies again to detect all possible gay undertones when Dumbledore was on screen.
“Clearly he is gay. I do not know […]

Read more...

While one can understand some degree of plugging when movie stars agree to ‘grace’ a television contest (yes, even Asrani is in demand), what’s happening these days in the singing competitions is a total sell-out. It is well known that the Bollywood fraternity appears in the shows to coincide with a movie release, and they use the opportunity to promote their films.

So far, they shook and moved with the contestants, verbally marketed their films, and so did the judges. (Himmesh, of course, declares every new movie to be “superb, awesome, fantastic and mind-blowing”, but we’ll let that pass.) But of late, the movie people have pretty much monopolised the singing competitions, so not only do we have posters from the films on the sets, we also have the contestants singing songs from the movies being promoted. And most of the conversation involves tit bits and trivia on the films. Last weekend, Saawariya’s crew completely took over proceedings on Star Voice…, and at the same hour, Om Shanti Om’s makers did ditto on Zee’s Sa Re Ga Ma Pa. In fact, directors Farah Khan and Sanjay Leela Bhansali seemed to be in a race on who would dominate the competitions more. In this marketing war, the singers themselves have become irrelevant. All I remember of the two shows is Ranbir Kapoor’s thumkas and Deepika Padukone’s nakhras. The contestants have turned into what filmi folk mockingly call ‘extras’.

While one can understand some degree of plugging when movie stars agree to ‘grace’ a television contest (yes, even Asrani is in demand), what’s happening these days in the singing competitions is a total sell-out. It is well known that the Bollywood fraternity appears in the shows to coincide with a movie release, and they […]

Read more...

Brilliant article in Wired about the worst portrayal of scientists in the movies. Hilarious and highly forwardable to your friends:

Keanu Reeves, Chain Reaction (1996)
Reeves as a brainy hacker in The Matrix? Whoa. Reeves as a shaggy-haired bubble-fusion expert on the lam from the government? Woe.

More here - > The Best: Unlikely Movie Scientists. Denise Richards? Jessica Alba?

Any ideas on a similar list for hamara Bollywood?

Brilliant article in Wired about the worst portrayal of scientists in the movies. Hilarious and highly forwardable to your friends:
Keanu Reeves, Chain Reaction (1996)
Reeves as a brainy hacker in The Matrix? Whoa. Reeves as a shaggy-haired bubble-fusion expert on the lam from the government? Woe.
More here - > The Best: Unlikely Movie Scientists. Denise Richards? […]

Read more...

I like Anurag Kashyap.
I love Vishal Bhardwaj.
I can’t say, when it comes to ‘No Smoking’ (directed by Anurag Kashyap and produced/ music directed by Vishal).

The gist of the film seems to be: John Abraham is a chain smoker. He signs up for a program which says (and this is from the CD inlay)

“I hereby agree to do whatever I am asked to do in order to successfully quit smoking…

IF YOU DISOBEY

Touch a cigarette with the intention of lighting up and your car will be blasted out of existence.
Too bad if you’re sitting in it.

Light a cigarette and your asthmatic brother will be forced to inhale all the cigarette smoke you have exhaled all these years.

Light a second cigarette and you won’t have anything left to hold that cigarette with. We’re talking about your fingers.”

And so on and so forth. You get the picture. Now this could either be a brilliant film or an absolute dud. I would hope it’s the first of the two but seeing the way RGV’s burnt out you never can tell. Even with the most talented types!

One thing you can definitely steer clear of tho is the soundtrack. It has all of 4 songs (2 are repeated, as is the norm these days). And all of them - literally - revolve around smoking.

1) Jab Bhi Ciggaret (Jazz) by Adnan Sami. Yes, that’s as horrendous as you would have suspected!

2) Phoonk De - the item number song playing on TV. You know hot-cold, high-low, Beedi Jalaile-Phoonk De. The thing is this can’t even be called a song - it’s more like mumbling with your mouth full of paan. To a background beat.

3) Kash Laga - Sukhwinder Singh, Daler Mehndi, Vishal Bhardwaj. ‘Kash laga’ translates to ‘take a drag’ for you non-Hindi types. The song is a drag too.

4). Ash Tray - yeah there is really a song like that

5) Phoonk De by Sukhwinder Singh

6) Jab Bhi (Trance) - Sunidhi Chauhan

There is one faltu poster of John Abraham without his shirt in the CD but we’ll give you a much much better poster very soon. So fuhgeddabout that.

All in all a complete waste of Rs 149. Or even Rs 59 (digital version). I am still hopeful about the movie tho!

P.S. The  stupidity of it all is that John - who had quit smoking - restarted because of the film.

“Oh man, I’ve just been smoking and smoking for every shot, and I have to inhale the smoke too. I can’t just pretend to be smoking, it would show onscreen. I’d rather not do this role than fake it. “

Sigh!

I like Anurag Kashyap.
I love Vishal Bhardwaj.
I can’t say, when it comes to ‘No Smoking’ (directed by Anurag Kashyap and produced/ music directed by Vishal).
The gist of the film seems to be: John Abraham is a chain smoker. He signs up for a program which says (and this is from the CD inlay)

“I hereby agree […]

Read more...