If you live in Mumbai, moving about by bus is not always the BEST way to travel, especially when you have to deal the following Annoying Bus Conductor species:
1. The Ass
Always has his ass stuck to the seat handles, mostly near the ladies seats. Claims he does it to balance himself in the constantly moving bus.
Most likely to: smell!
2. The Boxer
He lets his ticket box dangle on his right and his cash bag hang from the left. Whenever he passes you by, he hits you with one and then turns and hits you with the other. If you tell him about it, he’ll feign ignorance. Always try and sit next to the window if you want a bruise free journey when this guy’s around.
Most likely to say: “Itni gardi hain – mi kai karoon?”
3. The Lecher
Don’t ever wear a deep necked tee or blouse while travelling in the bus with this species. He will hover around you on purpose and gaze down your top.
Most likely to: try and touch your hand while giving you the ticket.
4. The No Change Guy
Will always torment you by saying he doesn’t have change and then go on to lecture you as to how travellers should always carry exact fare even though he has a bag full of his ‘sutaa’. Pray that you never board his bus the day you only have a Rs.500 note.
Most likely to say: “Chuta nahin hain toh doosri bus pakdo.”
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